Pretty Dull Liars

Photo Credit: ABC Family

Spoilers all up and through here…

The June 25th episode of Pretty Little Liars was not as entertaining as I expected it to be.  It started out okay with a couple of one liners.  The first was from Hanna saying that her mother hit Wilden “a little” with her car and then Spencer quipping “That ain’t no cuttlebone,” after finding a mask in the bin with Tippy’s belongings.  Emily took the bird’s toys, etc., when she really wanted to get her hands on Ali’s notebooks.  They are hoping to find another clue, like the Beach Hottie conversation from last season. They are scrounging for clues and so am I.

Aria says she has a date with Jake and Spencer looks as bored as I feel.  Aria looks over and sees her mother macking on Ella’s boyfriend, Zack.  Zack wants Ella to come to Vienna with him.  I already know Ella is probably going to go.  She’s not exactly mother of the year.

The fifth liar, Mona, is missing, but look everybody, there’s Melissa.  Melissa tells Spencer she was offered an internship in London or San Francisco.  In her special, creepy Melissa way, she tells Spencer they both need to get out of town.  Wow, Melissa knows more than she will ever tell.

Also, making a return to Rosewood is Caleb.  He’s been missing for too long, considering he will be moving to Ravenswood before we know it.  I just realized recently he is one of the most normal characters on the show.  I am going to miss his interactions with Hanna.  So, Caleb reconnected with his dad, but Hanna’s hair is distracting me.  The wig or weave completely overpowers her face.  So wrong.

Aria and Ella discuss Ella’s possible move to Vienna.  I can tell Ella wants to go.  Do we really need to spend this much time on this?  I guess the writers think having one of the mothers leave in the middle of the worst time in the girls’ lives needs to be explained, but didn’t Spencer’s mom abandon her already.  She only shows up every few months.

In another unnecessary scene, Spencer tries to figure out the phone number Tippy gave her and Toby tries to figure out the transcript from his mother’s last Radley transcript.  I would rather learn more details about Toby’s mother.  When did she die, compared to when Ali disappeared.  If they want to throw in another mystery, they need to tie it in with the other stories.  Somewhat interesting, Toby doesn’t want to admit to the other girls that he stole the RV.  Also, he thinks A is a girl.  Yep, me too Toby.

Ashley Marin looks more guilty with each passing day.  Hanna is asking questions to try to prove her mother’s innocence, but Ashley’s responses keep placing the gun in her hand.

Aria and Jake have a date on her couch and watch an old movie.  I’m sure the movie was supposed to give us some kind of clue, but my eyes glazed over.  Plus, all of Jake’s shirts need to be sleeveless, at least until they make his character more interesting.

Emily finally goes to the doctor about her shoulder.  She is the worst liar, as she stumbles over the answers as to whether she has ever taken painkillers and to how she hurt her shoulder.  Maybe she can get lying lessons from Aria.

Big liar, Ashley’s alibi is dissipating.  She wasn’t at a play as she said earlier in the episode.  I didn’t think she was telling the truth anyway.  In another case of bad parenting, snippy Pam confronted Emily in front of school regarding her possible prescription drug abuse.  This is the worst possible place to discuss this.  It was embarrassing, plus the fact that A was probably video taping the whole thing.  Palm slap to the forehead, Pam.

Caleb is trying to help Hanna through her family mess.  He tries to talk to Hanna’s father, but her father acts like a giant turd and dismisses him.  Meanwhile, Hanna is snooping around the police station.  She sees a board with pictures of all the suspects that could have possibly murdered Detective Wilden.  All the liars pictures are on there, and also Melissa, Toby and Caleb.  Was Mona’s picture on there?  I couldn’t tell.  This was probably the most interesting part of the story.  Hanna tried to take a picture of the board, but that new officer stepped in front of her.  I want a picture of it too, so I can better analyze it.

Caleb and Hanna’s Dad, Tom have a second conversation.  This time, Tom is more open to discussion.  He tells Caleb that Ashley visited him the night of Wilden’s murder.  She needed a large sum of money that Tom did not have.  Tom also said he checked a drawer where he kept a gun and it was missing.  Ashley’s got a gun (sung like Steven Tyler).

Aria and Emily have the conversation I mentioned earlier when the biggest liar tells the littlest liar that it’s okay to lie to her mom.  Aria fiddles with the mask found in Tippy’s belongings and discovers an Ali mask underneath.  This is similar to the one seen on the Halloween train and the night of the lodge fire, however I have to interrupt.  I wasn’t suffering from smoke inhalation.  What we saw was a person’s face, not some creepy mask.  Hardcore Hanna convinces the girls to go visit the creepy mask maker, since Spencer “Nancy Drew” Hastings is otherwise occupied.

Spencer and Toby visited the room in Radley where Toby’s mom “committed suicide.”  Toby thinks he has been duped by A and there is no more to the story.  Spencer doesn’t think Toby’s mom jumped and A gave him a real clue.  I added this to my clue closet, which promptly exploded all over me.

Hanna, Emily and Aria go to the creepy mask maker’s shop.  He says he will tell what he knows if he can make a mask of Emily’s face.  She obliges and there is a poignant moment when she says having the plaster on her face gave her an idea of what Ali felt like when she buried alive.  Hanna snoops around the shop and shoves something in her purse.  The thieving Hanna from the pilot episode is back.  I expected this scene to be scary, but it wasn’t.  Bring back the scares like the doll shop, please.

A is taking torture to a new level by calling Family Services on Pam after the school incident.  Really A?  I have no words.  After learning of this, Aria tells Ella to go to Vienna.  Aria, she was going anyway, but whatevs.

Hardcore Hanna pulls the stolen object from her purse.  It is a mask of Melissa.  Okay?  Who cares who had their mask made first, why does the whole town need to walk around in freaking masks?   Back at home, Hanna has a conversation with her mother through the door.  It’s a new low for Ashley who can’t look her daughter in the eye.

Melissa brings her creepiness to a new level.  She asks Spencer if she remembers when Spencer asked if Melissa would protect Spencer or someone she loved.  Of course, Spencer remembered.  Melissa asked her the answer to the question with the roles reversed.  I wonder if Melissa is referring to Toby.

The episode ended with A looking at Emily’s x-ray.  I’m sure this is leading somewhere, but I don’t know where.

This episode was seriously lacking the thrills and laughs I usually get from Pretty Little Liars.  I’m hoping this season picks up and gives me and the other fans what we’re craving.


Pretty Little Maniac

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